Hapa Joke

I've recently discovered the joys and delights of the Dave Chapelle Show. I've decided that he is like, the black Bugs Bunny, and I mean that as the highest, highest compliment. No really, think about it. He's halarious, silly, laughs in your face, screws around with people and is usually in costume.

"So long fried rice, HELLOOO fried chicken!"

- "Tiger Woods" in the Racial Draft segment, after he was voted 100% black by the black delegates.

Psychological Ramifications of Cat Toys

In a recent conversation regarding the over-use of a laserpen as a cat toy for Spoo Kee, in which he can never, ever catch the red dot:

k: Maybe we shouldn't over use it because he [Spoo Kee] might lose confidence in his hunting abilities.

(gender) identity crisis

j: Do your friends at work call you Dave or David?
d: Both. And sometimes they call me Shirley.

Watch Out, Pink Pants Wearers! Ian the Fashion Police is on the Case.

i: “is that man wearing pink pants?”

a: “unfortunately. melon to be exact. that’s just wrong.”

i: “no one should wear pink pants.”

{silence}

i: “doesn’t jimmy wear pink pants?”

a: “yea, but jimmy can get away with that because he’s so cute.”

{silence}

a: {laughing} “you know, my dad wore pink pants with a flowered shirt on his first date with my mom.”

i: “in the 70s?”

a: “yep.”

i: “well, that’s different.”

i: “today, pink pants are as fashionable as wearing flan.”

A Not So Beautiful, But Funny Mind

the husband: "he should be killed."

the wife: "that's not very nice."

the husband: "he should be murdered."

the wife: "that's not very nice either."

the husband: "maybe i should laugh really hard as i chop him into a million pieces with a butter knife."

the wife: {laughing} "is that a movie quote?"

the husband: "no. that's ME baby ME."

The Profoundness of Scatological Quips

f: i'm just a pile of poo with a mouth.

{no, i'm not being gross, i'm being, well..me, in my usual self-deprecating way.}

k: laughs.

f: actually, wait, that's quite profound.

k: (whah??)

f: no, really, think about it. NO, think about it.

{silence}

k: you mean like "...all we are is dust in the wind"?

{silence}

f: yea, kinda. yes, that's it!

{i'm rather impressed with myself}

Hi. My name is Amy and I have a thang for gray tic tacs.

the cat: {off in the distance, claws clicking on the hardwood floor}

the husband: " i hear a gray and white tic tac."

me: "a what?"

the husband: "you heard me."

me: {narrows eyes}

the husband: "what's wrong? are you thinking about the fact that you also drive a gray tic tac?"

me: {downcast eyes}

Welcome to the Land of Outlandish Jewelry and Bedazzled Jumpsuits!

oh wait, that's elvis? anyway, i'm posting the very very first entry here at The Quoteboard.

an explanation: years ago, before pre-mature aging and pets that bite, some of us girls had a quoteboard in our big spooky white house on cedar st. blabbers beware, or the embarassing-hope-no-one-heard-that bleebs that barf out of your big ol' lips just might end up black and white and red (read) all over.

but now that we are a little older and a tad wiser (SOL) we might have something to say, something for prosperity. or not.

and why ferberace? (that's fer-ber-rah-chee) well, that's the handiwork of one ms. shirley. duh, quoteboard and thequoteboard.blogspot were already taken so i had to think of something that was most likely still available. in short, i came to ral and mantie's rehearsal dinner dressed to the nines, encrusted with sparklies, feeling a tad like liberace. and thanks to pooz, ferberace was born...{still don't get it? meh}