Revelation

..I feel like I'm living on the edge...

...I'm like [pause] the Amy Winehouse of Sugar!

- furball, while eating part of a red velvet cupcake after a self-inflicted (and hypoglycemia-inducing) sugar hangover

Birth Control?

Children are like pets that live too long.

-Kermo Krunk

baby goth boy revisited

j: What are you going to do with that broken dvd player?
d: I don't know.
j: I think that you should drag it around by the cord like a pet on a leash. You could take it with you where ever you go.
d: Really?
j: Yeah. You could take it to work with you. You know how they have take your daughter to work day? Maybe they'll have take your pet dvd player to work day. Just don't forget to leave a bowl of food out in your cubicle for it.

New Job for Furball: Movie Critic

f: I don't understand why gratuitous blood, gore and violence are perfectly acceptable in movies but not POO and PEE. People can be covered in blood and it's OK but not POO! Nooooooo, POO and PEE are Taboo!!!! POO is bad! They even have tons of blood and naked body parts on TV but no POO!!! What the heck??

k: You should be a movie critic.

- Yet another dignified and enlightening conversation deep in the heart of Texas.

Hapa Joke

I've recently discovered the joys and delights of the Dave Chapelle Show. I've decided that he is like, the black Bugs Bunny, and I mean that as the highest, highest compliment. No really, think about it. He's halarious, silly, laughs in your face, screws around with people and is usually in costume.

"So long fried rice, HELLOOO fried chicken!"

- "Tiger Woods" in the Racial Draft segment, after he was voted 100% black by the black delegates.

Psychological Ramifications of Cat Toys

In a recent conversation regarding the over-use of a laserpen as a cat toy for Spoo Kee, in which he can never, ever catch the red dot:

k: Maybe we shouldn't over use it because he [Spoo Kee] might lose confidence in his hunting abilities.

(gender) identity crisis

j: Do your friends at work call you Dave or David?
d: Both. And sometimes they call me Shirley.